Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Bra shopping can be stressful at the best of times. Working out the right size, shape, style and colour can send any woman into an indecisive frenzy.
For me, in all honesty I could probably do without a bra. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve got great, perky boobs, but when God was handing out decent pairs of knockers I must have been too busy picking fluff from my navel in a corner somewhere because I got the left-overs.
And there wasn’t much left.
So that being said, I’m really not a big spender when it comes to the bra stakes. Give me a $250 pair of running shoes and that’s a different story, but my ‘girls’ can manage okay being ‘housed’ in a modest $15 Target bra.
Given that the ‘girls’ haven’t been treated to a new ‘place of abode’ for a little while, a recent bra sale at Target sparked my interest. Knowing my already reasonably-priced bra was just about to become a bra-plus-a-coffee-and-a-doughnut, I was excited!!
Buuuut…….when I noticed the sale, I was at the shops with two grumpy and tired two and three year olds.
Oh and it was lunchtime…..and I hadn’t quite gotten around to feeding them yet…..apart from a couple of doughnuts…..
………..so of course I went ahead and shopped anyway with two hungry, cranky, sugered-up kids………..mistake. Big mistake.
So I may have learnt a couple of things since that particular day. It’s a war out there and you have to go in prepared.
7 tips for bra-shopping with kids (if you must)
1. Plan your shopping trip: Know you’re going bra shopping so you can not only psych yourself but so you can thoroughly sedate brief the kids prior.
Know where the bra section is and head straight there. Having to search from one end of the store to the other cuts into your precious time whilst the kids are still intrigued by the bright lights and headless mannequins.
2. Know the size, shape, colour, contour, material of the bra you want: Knowing what you want makes it easier to find. Once you’ve found the make and model of your boob-storage-facility, try it on and then get the hell out of there. Extra moments spent pondering the filigree on the lace-work plunges you further into dangerous impatient/bored/pissed-off-kid territory.
3. Bad things happen in change rooms with kids: Regardless of whether or not you know your size, you’re still going to have to try the thing on. But be warned, taking too long in a change room with the kids may lead to ‘bloggable moments’. You’ll either find your kid chewing on one of the rejected bras you’ve dumped on the floor OR you’ll end up dragging him by the feet back under the change room door (because they just don’t make the cubicles impenetrable for toddlers).
4. Be decisive: Going back for a second look at the rack once you’ve made a choice is fraught with danger. The increasing tone, volume and velocity of whingey moans and complaints will soon transform your leisurely shop into something likened to boot camp for fatties - you’ll find yourself running, sweating and swearing trying to get the hell away from the smaller person that’s yelling abuse at you!
5. NEVER RELEASE THE HOUNDS: Regardless of sweet smiles and promises of good behaviour- NEVER RELEASE A CHILD FROM THE CONFINES OF THE TROLLEY/PRAM OR OTHER AVAILABLE RESTRAINING DEVICE. Otherwise you may end up frantically pushing an empty pram through Target whilst draped with half a dozen cheap bras, screaming threats at the top of your lungs that if your children don’t return by the time you count to three they will have their trampoline and Wiggles privileges removed.
6. No matter how many staff and security you engage to locate offspring if you do happen to ‘misplace’ them, little old ladies are the best at spotting small feet sticking out of clothing racks. And dressing gown racks are especially good hiding places for small children. Believe me!
7. If you do happen to bra shop at the wrong time with the wrong people whilst making the wrong decisions - if anything, just bloody make sure you walk away from that store with at least one discounted bra (oh and the correct type and number of children)!!
Yep, bra-shopping with little kids is a cinch. No really…..
Have you ever tried clothes shopping with kids?
If you’re looking for specials and sales on bras, clothes…..or pretty much anything else you can think of jump on over to Lasoo for all the latest catalogues from your fave stores.
Disclaimer: no children were injured, maimed or otherwise during the making of this blog post…..but I sure as hell thought about it…….
This is a guest post from Lasoo friend and amazing blogger- CRAP MAMMA.