I have just written a preview of the Apple iPhone over on the Lasoo Reviews page and now have a formal announcement to make.

The announcement is that I am done talking about it for now and will not mention it again until the iPhone raises someone from the dead or finds a cure for cancer.

I am thoroughly sick of hearing about the iPhone and this is coming from someone who was really into it when it first came out in the US a while back. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a neat little gadget and I would happily use one myself. But when you stop and take stock and realise that a mobile phone has essentially been the leading story on news bulletins for the last couple of days, you really have to wonder about the state of our society.

Why do people today get so obsessed with bright, shiny things? I call this “magpie syndrome” and it also affects anyone who camps out to see the fireworks on New Year’s Eve. Also people who cause traffic jams when they rush out en masse to gawk at large international cruise ships when they park in Sydney Harbour overnight.

And speaking of camping out… who are these people who camped out for the iPhone? Is there really nothing more important you could be doing, like… oh I don’t know… sleeping, or watching infomercials and demolishing an entire cask of Mozelle. Either of these activities would be preferable to lying in the middle of the street awaiting the arrival of a mobile phone.

The only thing you would ever catch me camping out for is… actually, I can’t think of one single item I would ever camp out for. I enjoy being comfortable and dignified too much.

By Caroline Warnes